Hug Yourself

I had a recent injury that sent me into weeks of treatments with my chiropractor. Session after session, I showed up, let her work on my body, and went about my week hoping the pain would ease a little more each time.

At one of my appointments, she looked at me and said, "Hug yourself." I laughed a little at first, thinking it was just something to help stretch out my shoulders. Something hit me in that moment though, an awareness I could not shake.

When was the last time I hugged myself, I thought. Not just a physical hug, but a kind word. A compliment. Grace extended toward myself the way I so easily extend it to everyone else. When did I stop doing that?

I obeyed the instruction right there in the room. I wrapped my arms around myself, and I can tell you it felt so good. It was as if I was saying, girl, it is going to be okay. It was saying, girl, you got this. Girl, keep going. So many emotions surfaced in that one small moment, more than I expected from something so simple.

I left that appointment pondering why we do not stop more often to hug ourselves. Why we do not pause to give ourselves a pat on the back for the ways we are showing up, even on the hard days.

Think about the last time you spoke to yourself the way you would speak to your best friend. Think about the last time you looked in the mirror and told yourself you were doing enough. If you cannot remember, you are not alone. Most of us have gotten so good at pouring into everyone else that we forgot how to pour a little back into ourselves.

Scripture Reflection

The second is this: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no commandment greater than these.” ~ Mark 12:31

This reminds us to love our neighbor as ourselves. That command only works if there is a self to love in the first place. Loving yourself well is not vanity or selfishness. It is the foundation. This scripture assumes you already have, so that the love you give to your husband, your children, and your friends flows from a heart that is already full.

Heart Truths

The world is loud about all the ways we are falling short. In the age of social media and constant comparison, we are told we are not slim enough, not pretty enough, not accomplished enough, not well traveled enough. It becomes easy to internalize that noise and forget that we were never meant to carry it in the first place.

Here is what this means for your marriage. A woman who has learned to extend grace to herself has more grace available to extend to her husband on the days he falls short too.

Here is what this means for your motherhood. A mother who speaks kindly to herself is modeling for her children what a healthy inner voice sounds like.

Here is what this means for your faith. When you treat yourself the way God treats you, with patience and steady love, you begin to reflect Him more clearly to everyone watching your life.

Loving Well in Action

Loving yourself well does not require a grand gesture. It starts with small, repeatable choices you can make today. Here are four simple actions you can take this week:

1. Take one moment this week to physically wrap your arms around yourself and simply breathe.

2. Speak one kind sentence to yourself out loud, the same way you would speak encouragement over your husband or your child.

3. Replace one critical thought about your body, your home, or your parenting with a true statement about who you are.

4. Give yourself permission to rest without guilt, even for ten minutes.

   A LoveNote

Here is a love note that you can write for yourself:

Dear self,

You are doing it. You got up again today even when it was hard. You showed up for your family, your work, and everyone who needed you, and you are still standing. You do not have to earn rest or kindness. You are allowed to hug yourself and mean it. Keep going, girl. You got this.

Your LoveNote Challenge

This week, write a love note the same way you just read one. It can be to yourself, to your husband, to your child, or to a friend who needs to hear that they are doing enough. Let the story of that chiropractor's office remind you that a few honest, tender words can shift an entire moment. Write down what you would say if you wrapped your arms around them, or around yourself, right now

If you are looking for a beautiful and simple way to make note writing a consistent practice in your marriage, visit www.dailylovenotekit.com. It was created to help you say what matters, to the person who matters most consistently and with love.

Finish With Intention

Before you close this out and move into the rest of your day, take one breath. Let your shoulders drop. Remind yourself that you do not need permission from anyone else to be gentle with your own heart. You are allowed to hug yourself, to speak well of yourself, and to keep going with the same grace you so freely give away. Girl, you got this.

P.S. Download your copy of Love Him Well: The Daily Love Note Kit. Available now at www.dailylovenotekit.com.